parents make the best youth ministers

Our young people said...

2008-05-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

We all need to follow Jesus or we will go straight to Hell.

Kayne Hensley

I think we all have to choose personally to go against the flow.

Michael Hopkins

We need to pray, not do what the crowd is doing, and have best friends that go to church.

Makayla Allen

We need to put God first, choose our friends carefully, and invite our friends that don't go to church to come with us.

Sydney Moore

Compass family devotion

2008-05-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

It is kind of hard to have a devotion about the Bible because you are basically having a devotion about one huge devotion. it does make sense to evaluate the Bible and the role it plays in our life. Many of us say we believe what we believe because the Bible says so. At least we have been told it says so. But do you read the Bible? Do you study the Bible? If only the preachers had Bibles would that really change your life? For many of you it would change your life. If you are one of the many that don't read the Bible for yourself then you may need to reconsider how you view the Bible.

Here are some basic facts about the Bible that you can share with your family:

1. The Bible is written by at least 40 different men
2. It took about 1500 years for the Bible to be written.
3. The Bible was written by people living on 3 different continents (Europe, Asia, Africa)
4. The Bible was originally written in 3 languages (Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek)
5. The Bible has 66 different books.
6. The current New Testament has been agreed upon since at least the 4th century.

No part of the Bible, no major teaching of the Bible, no story in the Bible has ever been shown to be false.

Think back to your 8th grade science book. My guess is that it was not a 1st edition. It had probably been "updated" as they made new discoveries. Chances are also pretty good that it is no longer used. It has probably been replaced to reflect the "advancements" in science.

Well the Bible has never been replaced. It has not needed to be updated. No advancement has ever made the Bible outdated. No one has ever shown the Bible to be inaccurate, but many people will not trust it. Science re-invents itself constantly but yet we are told that science is trustworthy.

There is nothing in this world that we can stand on that is as solid and trustworthy as the word of God.

Compass family activity

2008-05-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

God's compass is the Bible. If we teach our kids nothing but to read the Bible daily then we have prepared them to follow God.

All kids like going outside. Take your family on a hike. Let the kids direct the family. If you know how to use a compass (which after hearing Brian Johnson talk on Sunday night I realize I don't know how to use one) then teach your kids and let them use it. Just have fun in the woods.

If you are woodsy type of people drive somewhere in the car. Or if you are going somewhere as a family let the kids tell you how to get there. The point is getting your kids to give directions. Once they understand that then you can easily relate that to the Bible. And this can be very simple. If you simply say that without the truth of the Bible we would all be lost just like we can get lost driving or in the woods then you have done something. If your kids want to discuss that then that is great, but a discussion is not necessary. Simply saying that the Bible is the compass for our life makes an impact. The greater impact is made by your life. So if you make the statement that the Bible is the key then make sure you are living up to your own statement.

Narrow Road family devotion

2008-05-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

Great people do what normal people are unwilling to do. That is a quote that many coaches use to motivate their teams. And it happens to be true. Many of the greatest athletes were not the most talented.

Jerry Rice, the greatest wide receiver in the history of the NFL, put himself through extreme workouts in the offseason. They were so hard that when his teammates tried to work out with him they could not make it through the whole workout.

Chris Lofton used to go every day to play basketball because he did not want anyone to out work him.

These guys were not the biggest, fastest, or strongest, but they became great simply because they were willing to do more than those they competed against.

As Christians we don't have to be smarter, or more talented than anyone else to follow God. The 12 disciples were not well educated or influential. Most of them were fishermen and the others were outcasts.

Acts 17:11 praises the Bereans because they studied the scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. EVERY DAY. That is what makes the narrow road hard. You have to get up every day to follow God. There is no vacation, no 15 minute break. It is continuous.

Christians are not smarter, stronger, or better. We are just willing to do something EVERY DAY that the rest of the world is not willing to do. We are willing to submit our life to the God who created the entire world EVERY DAY.

Narrow Road family activity

2008-05-05T11:02:00.000-07:00

We talked this week about following the narrow road. The children talked about the shield of faith. Sometimes we don't feel protected as christians. the shield is easy to play with. Try to hit your kids (playfully) and let them protect themselves with the shield. You can easily tie this into how God protects us from the Devil. When we place our faith in God, we are protected from Satan in many ways. We may still get made fun of, get sick, have bad things happen, but God allows us to get thru it. Even more, he is preparing a place for eternal protection in heaven. Have fun playing with your kids and let them know that God protects them from Satan all the time.

If you have older kids you can have much deeper discussions with them. Ivan was exactly right that the hardest part of the narrow road is staying on it. We don't need to kid ourselves that it is easy. What are some of the distractions that keep your kids off the narrow road. This would be a great time to share some of your struggles with them and how you were able to get over those and stay on the narrow path. Try yourself to remember the things in your life that were monumentally difficult when you were your kids age. Chances are that you don't struggle now with those same issues.

Wide Road Devotion

2008-04-28T11:50:00.001-07:00

I once heard someone say that selfishness is like gravity. We can learn to deal with it, we can see the effects, but we can never get rid of it. We all struggle with placing too much emphasis on "us". Society conditions us to do that. But Jesus wants just the opposite.

Philippians 2:5-7 says that Jesus is our ultimate example of putting others ahead of himself. If anyone ever deserved to be selfish it is Jesus. He is after all our creator. But he chose to put God's Kingdom ahead of his personal comfort. And he expects us to do the same.

If your children can read have each member of your family thumb thru the Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and find a story that they think shows how Jesus put others ahead of himself.
If you have smaller kids you may have to find the stories yourself and then relay them to your family. The more we focus on how awesome Jesus is the less we will be tempted to think too much of ourselves.

Wide Road Bible story

2008-04-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

Galatians 2:11-15

This is a real short story about how Peter got caught up in following the crowd he was around. Peter knew that we don't have to follow the rules of Judaism but he began following those rules because of a certain group of people. Paul says that he brought this up to Peter in front of everyone because he was wrong. This story goes to show us that we all need to be careful because if Peter can get swept into following the world then so can we.

Wide Road Family Activity

2008-04-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

You can take the armor that your kids made Sunday Night and have all kinds of fun. If you have boys then they will want to fight with their armor. If you have girls then they will probably enjoy a fashion show more than fighting. Either way it gives you a good way to get them playing with their armor. Once they are playing you can take just a minute to help them understand what the armor is about. The Breast plate of righteousness: We are protected by Jesus righteousness and by our desire to act like Him. The Belt of Truth: if we want to fight for God we need to know God. The way we know the truth about God is by studying the Bible. Depending on the age of your kids you may go deeper or not as deep but this is a great opportunity to teach your kids some basic principles of following Christ.

If you have teen age children then you can do something different. While you are taking a trip on an interstate talk about wide roads. Ask them what decisions their friends make that are easy in the moment decisions, but may have bad consequences down the road. Ask them how they keep from making those easy decisions that go along with the crowd. Remember, ideas are good but if you are not bringing your family back to the Bible, they will eventually fall to the human ideas that the world around them embraces.

Navigation Memory Verse

2008-04-21T11:18:00.001-07:00

Joshua 24:15

As for me and my house we will serve the Lord

PTP'r Bible story

2008-04-17T11:45:00.000-07:00

This is a cool story. You don't have to do a devotion with it or anything like that but it is a fun story to read as a family.

The story is in Judges 6 and 7. You may want to read the story ahead of time and take out some of the details to make it more readable if you have little kids.

Gideon was scared. He was not a leader or an influential person. But when God called him he followed. He was a PTP'r. Very much like the kid who made the game winning shot in Rick's video Sunday night, Gideon had not done much of significance his whole life. But he came thru and trusted God when it mattered most.

PTP'r Family activity

2008-04-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

There are several activities that you can do with your family this week. Here is an age appropriate list of a few ideas.
Pre-schoolers: It is difficult for these kids to grasp deep spiritual truths but you would be amazed at how easy they remember simple ideas. They have a blast memorizing scripture so have fun going over the memory verse for "Navigation". You can also use the helmet they decorated Sunday Night to talk to them about going to battle with God. The whole idea is that putting on the helmet of Salvation is a signal of going to battle.

Early Elementary: These kids can definitely understand basic spiritual ideas. They also have ideas about what they want to be. Use the helmet they made to have a discussion about choices they make and how those choices are how they choose to join God's army or to fight against God. You can easily tie this into a discussion about what they want to be when they grow up and what God wants them to be. Most of them will say they want to be what God wants them to be. If that is the case or if it is not then you can help them understand what they need to do in order to become what God wants them to be.

Upper Elementary: The word search is an easy activity they can do during the week that will remind them about the message Rick delivered Sunday night. They can also use the pattern and paper provided to make for themselves a helmet. Both these activities can lead to a discussion about the message and how it relates to your child's life.

Middle and High School: These kids are not all about crafts and games. If you have boys then there is a good chance they play video games that includes fighting. We can debate the pros and cons of letting them play these games later. For now take advantage of it. Offer to play the game with your son and use it to relate the fight on the game to the fight we are all involved in between God and Satan.

PTP'r Devotion

2008-04-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

Protect your feet - what are you doing as a parent to protect your children from spiritual danger. This is a great time to explain to your family that God has given you the job of protecting them from Satans attacks. Most kids respect any authority who genuinely is looking out for them.

As we look at the armor of God it is interesting that the sword is the only offensive part of the armor. The rest of the armor is used to protect us from Satan's attacks. Only the Bible gives us the ability to fight back. If we want to make an impact for God's kingdom then we have to get serious about knowing what the Bible says. We are going to discuss this in a couple of weeks but this is a good time to plant the seed in your family about the importance of knowing God's word.

Rick talked about being ready for battle on Sunday night. This is a good time to talk with your family about what battles they feel like they are involved in right now. The personal battles that we face in our own lives are often the front lines of the spiritual battles that God is involved in.

Remember to pray at the end of your family time. Even if you feel like it is the worst, shortest, most shallow prayer in the history of the world you can't measure the impact of your kids growing up hearing you pray. And if you don't have kids you probably can't imagine the impact of praying with your spouse. And if you are single, then find another single person to go thru this with you. Maybe God will use you to help connect another person to HIS family.

Get EXPELLED

2008-02-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

Normally when talking to parents you don't like the words "get expelled". but in this case it is a good thing. There is a new movie coming out this spring that talks about Intelligent Design. Intelligent Design, or ID, is the idea that a higher power created the world. While this does not mean that all ID supporters believe the literal Biblical account of creation, it does mean that there are those out there who are willing to stand up and say that the Evolution theory is not rock solid and we need to teach our children that it is possible that the world was created by someone.

The basic idea of this movie is that the evolutionary scientists have basically expelled any scientist who questions the idea of evolution.

Please do 2 things in relation to this blog post.

1) Call your local theater and request that they play this movie when it comes out in April '08.

2) Visit the website, www.getexpelled.com, and check it out for yourself.

Buffalo

2008-02-05T08:12:00.000-08:00

In many ways I have always thought outside of the box. That has not always meant that I have acted outside of the box though.

I wonder if as the indians were stampeding buffalo off of a cliff, that some of the buffalo were not thinking to themselves "You know, I think there may be a better way to do this". Even if they were, they never changed their behavior.

As parents I think we sometimes behave like buffalo. There are so many parental norms. We can of course decide to spank or not spank, and small decisions like that. But what about big decisions.

What would you do if you felt like it was best for your child to be homeschooled? Would you be able to pull them out of the school?

What if you truly felt that in order to get your child out of some bad situations you felt it was best to move to another city? Would you quit your job? Would you move out of a neighborhood with bad influences?

I think sometimes we forget to think. God is amazingly unique. And He has made us amazingly unique. That means that each of our children have individual needs and ways of relating to the world around them. We could debate public school ideas all day. But more important than that is how are your children getting fed spiritually?

Church is great, but church relates to a group of people. I believe it is up to families to relate to people as individuals. It is parents who are supposed to know what is best for THEIR family. The church can't know that information for every family.

So let me ask you what have you done recently to meet your child where they are? What have you done to relate to your child in a way that is unique and special to him/her as a unique creation of God? What have you done to help relate the truth of God to your children in a way that is planned around your unique child?

Cell Sin

2008-01-24T09:18:00.000-08:00

I really like what Mark Driscoll says in this blog post so rather than relate it to you, check it out and see what you think.

Cell Sin

How simple is simple?

2008-01-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

I have always loved simple. Penn State football uniforms. IU basketball uniforms. One remote for all the TV stuff. And now as my family is growing, I would love to have a simple family life. But I am finding that the process of simplifying our life is not all that simple. We have so much stuff we do. Church, friends, watching our favorite teams, spending time with kids, getting away together, just relaxing. Then there are always the complications when a kid gets sick, or something unexpected comes up.

I think Jesus dealt with the same thing. I always wondered why Jesus told some people not to tell anyone about the miracle He had just done. At the end of Mark 1 Jesus meets a leper. Out of compassion he heals the man and then asks him not to tell anyone. However the man went and told everyone. The result was that Jesus was then surrounded by people and could not even publicly enter a town. He had to stay out in the country to teach. His life was much less simple because this man told everyone what Jesus had done. I think that this is why Jesus did not want the man to tell others. Jesus longed for a simple life. At various times he withdrew from the crowds purposefully. As a father I see an internal struggle within Jesus that I identify with.

Jesus wanted a simple life. However, he did not want a dis-connected life. He met a man whom he could help. His desire to impact people was stronger than his desire to maintain a simple and low key profile.

I too want a simple life. But I don't want to have a life that is dis-connected from the world Jesus died for. I know I need to spend time with my family, but I also need to spend time impacting those around me.

For us today I think the challenge is to create a system where we focus on the priorities of our life. Our families need us. But our families need to see us engaged in ministry as a normal part of our life.

So I am going to keep doing the most complex task I have ever encountered: to make my life simple enough to focus on the priorities God has given me.

New Website

2008-01-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

Check out the Family First website that has something for everyone. Dad can find something for him at the All Pro Dad link that is provided there, There is iMom which is built just for our moms to get encouragement, and then there is the Family minute link that gives ideas to connect our families. Go and play around there and see if you can find something to help lead your family closer to Christ. There is also a link to the right that will take you there.

Expectations

2008-01-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Expectations are powerful. Exceptions are power drainers. Achievers have more expectations of themselves and make less exceptions.

We serve a God that does not make exceptions. We serve a God with great expectations.

Our salvation is not the result of God making an exception for us. We are saved because God expected His son to die for our sins. Our salvation is actually an achievement of God. Grace is free to us, but not free. The cost was simply paid by our Creator.

As a parent what do you expect from your children? Obedience? Respect? Good grades?

How often do you make exceptions in your expectations?

What are God's expectations of you as a parent?

Does He ever make exceptions on His standards?

People want to live up to the expectations others have of them. All people. That is not weakness in character, it is a simple truth. So setting high expectations for our children is a Godly idea. God expects much from us and passing those on to our family is walking in the direction of God.

At the same time, when we make exceptions for those we influence, we send a message that either we think they can't live up to the expectations, or it is not really so important.

As 2008 gets rolling lets raise the spiritual expectations for ourselves, our family, and our church and see what God is willing to help us achieve.

The Power of...

2007-12-28T14:11:00.001-08:00

There are many powerful forces in this world. Money, influence, intelligence, good looks. All have impacts on various situations. But I believe there is an even more powerful force in the world...

Music.

I think it was Plato who said "If you want to destroy a culture, start with their music".

Many Christians can do a good job of railing against the "ungodly music". However, we forget that any power can be used for good or bad. Music in itself is not evil. Evil music exists. So does Godly music.

Let me share with you two recent good music experiences I have had.

I went to a church leader conference recently where each session began with a worship set. One worship set in particular was absolutely amazing. I can't really put in words how it impacted me, but it was a deep, emotional and spiritual experience. The music was a big part of that. Music that leads our soul towards excitement with lyrics that connect our mind to the King of the universe make a powerful combination. Expert worship leaders can use the power of music to lead others to a place of unexplainable worship. I thought maybe it was just me but all those with me said afterward that the worship session was one of the most amazing of their life. I wondered later how many Christians have ever been in a situation where their whole being: emotional, mental, and physical were so completely engaged in worship.

As we teach our children what it means to serve the Living God, we can't leave worship out of the equation. Some parents may be unprepared to teach their children to worship. Prepare. Find places where you can worship. Take your family with you to concerts that involve worship. Buy worship CD's. And remember that worship is more than music. Worship can be sitting around talking about God. But music is such a powerful tool why not use music to worship God.

That leads me to a more recent music experience. We went to visit family over the holidays and on the way there I was getting tired so I turned on the radio. Besides a few country stations there was not much on so I flipped over to the CD. There was a worship CD playing and as we listened my 3 year old son and 4 year old daughter got really excited. Their mother has done a wonderful job of exposing them to Christian music. As the songs played we had to turn up the volume because the kids were singing so loud. They don't understand the words right now, but they love singing songs about Jesus. It was awesome to hear such young voices so excited about music. I can't take any credit for the event, but what an example of how we can so easily lead our children towards a life of worship.

I want to encourage any parents who read this to make worship a part of your family. Here are some simple steps you can take to make that a reality.

Engage in worship while in a church service. That means worship and paying attention during the other parts.
Sit with your children so that they can learn from you what it looks like to worship.
Get a CD of your favorite worship songs and listen to it in the car with your family. You can find most popular songs on iTunes.
pray for a spirit of worship to invade your family.
Engineer times in your family where you talk about how awesome God is and what he has done in your life.
Be a worshiper. Be a worshiper. Be a worshiper. Studies have shown that children pick up on how parents ARE. You can't fake them out. If you want your kids to be about loving Jesus the most important part of the equation is YOU loving Jesus.

Family activity idea

2007-12-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

Xerox is doing something really cool this Christmas season. If you go to this site http://www.letssaythanks.com
then you and your family can send cards to soldiers that are not able to be with their families for Christmas. This is a great time to teach your children about giving back, saying thanks, and about the sacrifice other people make for us which ties in pretty well with the sacrifice Jesus made for us.

Have fun making a difference in the lives of soldiers and your family!

Are we there yet?

2007-12-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

My kids have a toy from the Shrek movies that says over and over "Are we there yet?". There is also a movie from the same title. As I watched the Smurfs when I was younger I can recall the line "Are we there yet Papa Smurf?". (On a totally unrelated topic don't ever buy a boy a light blue Smurfs lunch box. There is a good chance he will get made fun of) I am going home to North Carolina and I know that one of the conversations that my brother and I will have will be centered around who made the trip home the fastest; who had the least stops; which one of us made the "best time".

As I look at the youth that I deal with regularly they seem to operate with the same attitude. Are we there yet? Are we old enough to drive yet? Are we old enough to go to college yet? Have we reached the point in our life when we can....

We are all busy. Work, family, church, sports, lessons. It goes on and on.

I have heard from parents far too many times that their kids are grown up and they don't remember where the time went. As parents we can wake up one day and say "Are we there already?". Is it really time for my child to go off to college? Are they old enough to get married?

The important question for us as parents is not "are we there yet?", but "where are we going?" What are your goals for your children? Do you want them to get a good education? Do you want them to go to college? Where does their spiritual growth and spiritual health fall in the list of goals? What are you willing to sacrifice to see your children develop a deep relationship with God?

We all need to determine where we are going, and what it will cost to get there or we may find ourselves saying "are we there already?" and realizing that our kids did not end up where we wanted them to be.

Youth Minister from birth

2007-12-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

You may not realize it but if you are a parent, you are a youth minister. In fact you have been a youth minister from birth. Not your birth, your child's birth. The moment that brand new person escaped from their mom's protective womb, you have had the responsibility of protecting, teaching, and leading your child. I know this is not news to anyone. All good parents understand they are the ones that are in charge of their family.

However, the church has in recent decades done a poor job of helping you as a parent. In fact, traditional youth ministry has probably made it harder on you as a parent. For the last 30 years or so parents have been encouraged to drop off their kids in the children's programs or the youth programs. Then a couple of hours later the family is reunited after an engaging lesson designed for each of them specifically. The problem is that the church, and youth ministry has tried to do something that is not our job. God does not want the church to be the main influence in a child's life. The church should be the main supporter of parents to help parents be the main influence on their family.

This web site is dedicated to helping parents be the youth minister to their family. Check here often for links to articles, stories of triumphant families, and ideas for connecting our kids to our Savior.